So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
