I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
