Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
