Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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