Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
