there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
