Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
