we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
