porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
