What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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