and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
