i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize