OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
