Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
