whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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