I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
