We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize