WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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