Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
