She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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