We named our party play list daddy issues
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
