just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
