Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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