they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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