I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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