these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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