If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
