I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
