We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Even my vagina gasped.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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