don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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