he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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