There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
wow bdsm is so cute
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