How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize