Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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