She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
