i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
