So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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