You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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