You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
