hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
