I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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