i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
