Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
