Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
