she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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