dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Randomize
