He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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