I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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