i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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