And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
