i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
