I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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