Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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