The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
