I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
only you would photoshop your dick
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
