don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
