so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
