oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
